(i) woud like to

admit that in moments of wanting to rip apart all the seams and seems of my creaturecomfort realities, that there's this heavy burden of self. self awareness self consciousness self love self hate self pity self righteousness. i must admit that i have a steadfast record of crawling desperately up walls and out of my skin to escape; getting empty loving from runners and running from true loves.
when i was a small and my heart would throb so loud&heavy in my ear - i thought i would boil over crazy, mom would kiss it away and tell me this will pass. i would cry and make myself sick to keep from going to school, and she would say nothing stays the same, it'll get better. when i would rant and rave about the cruelties of people, in her manner, she simply sighed, everything & everyone changes.

there is no steady, no stable, so why try and build my life around these notions.
i am a creature of perpetual motion, and so are you.
thankful to excersize realizations; to take two steps forward and one step back as long as i am not walking anyone's path.
truth is a pathless land.

i've checked out and gone for a run.