"dreams watching each other narrowly"

i've come to the conclusion that it must be something in the air
or collective unconscious.

since last friday i've rarely had rest, mostly just tossed between fragmented
dreams and tales.

+ camels

excruciatingly vivid reality of being in the desert, and on the lam with eddie.

saturated but natural blues and oranges.
everything was stark contrasts and i've been pouring over desert pictures to try and pinpoint this one. i think i've got it down to the "Dead Vlei" desert in Namibia. i can never remember the beginnings of things, but we're on the run from either slavers or a
very angry sect of bedouins (geographical clash is what has me hungup). we're on our last reserves and have lost most of our group (faceless).

the only thing keeping us alive and free is this herd of camels. probably 10 to 15. each of them painstakingly ornate and beautiful. again, picture-pouring. this is the closest thing i came to. however, these camels were head to toe covered in a dust pigment (similar to the effects of indian gulal). each had individual markings on their hide, color, silks. they reek of thick flowers; like a gardenia scent. from the get-go they're our family, and protectors.

sand permeated everything of our lives. the whole story is struggle and narrow escapes. the last fragment of dreamlife i remember was making it to the water; i don't remember a ship or anything that saves us, but theres finally this washup of relief. i've never seen images of the Skeleton Coast before i started researching into this. the images are perfect; entirely too perfect and true.

(saturday night)
+ cave
it started in some gateway sleep, The Book's "Lemon of Pink" was drifting on a reed and i kept having this really foggy image/felt almost like a choppy film of a cave being lit up by different floating embers (but no fire). the cave is sort of, neutral, it doesn't feel comfortable or menacing. it just Is. there was a masked almost decrepit figure with a walking stick slouched in the cave; lit up in brief moments when the embers would drift by. very shamanic, without actually being a shaman. the lights would bring to life images on the walls, colors, even faint sounds (probably the sleep music seeping through into dreamlife). the most obvious sound that really stands out in my mind were birds; but not chirping.. almost like a language. i shook myself out of it before actually falling asleep; i wasn't the only one in a different place... but reinier explains his images better. theres rock cloud formations and a sunset.
the rest of the night was in and out of dreams i can't recall. it was definitely contagious, and sleeping beside rein was overwhelming. at one point i snapped out of a dream to turn over
too quickly to look at him; just as he had opened his eyes only a moment prior to look at me. it was a really panicky eye-lock.

after the night at reinier's i was exhausted, despite sleeping in until noon. i got home, ate a bite and curled up for another five hours. it was if i hadn't slept at all.
the afternoon felt really feverish, and i woke up in coldsweats a few times. i can only remember two dreams, the first is one of my "norm" dreams. where everything is very plausible, almost mundane, and feels like a memory. it's like a dreamish dejavu.

(saturday afternoon)
+ blonde haired babe

i hop out of a black car with odie, were in the middle of a talk and are parked at the edge of an open field. the smalltalk ends when she points out that everyone is here. we start walking out to meet a group of guys, who just finished playing soccer. eddie is at the front of the group, reinier, big bear and i think dennis
are in the group.
eddie's holding the hand of a small, probably two year old girl, with brilliantly blonde/gold hair and vivid blue eyes. she breaks away from him, and rushes out to cling to my legs. she's not exactly frail.. but light, thin for her age; lacking the fatcheeks which makes her eyes look even more startling. i scoop her up and were on our way to a sort of gym. except it's decorated beautifully. it's almost like a circus-rehearsal gym? more friends pour in; the girls. eddie, my daughter(?) whos in a papoose on my back, and i go up a wooden ladder to a half-loft that overlooks everything. there's earthy blankets and pillows everywhere, and we just lay there watching everyone form a circle and play some sort of word-association game. catching wisps of laughter and words; we're having our own conversation which i know was beautiful but i can't remember.

the girl is sort of half-asleep on my belly as we talk, making little noises here and there. she never speaks throughout the dream, even though i do address her at certain times. she responds with childish flittering, almost her own language, that none of us question and, in fact, understand. during our conversation, i start breastfeeding her. not for nourishment because shes old enough to eat,
more out of creaturecomforts and closeness.

+cave reoccurance
the second dream/shortest, i revist the cave. it's more vivid the second time around. no 'shaman'. reinier and i are instead playing a hand game, communicating in some other language and giggling. this is the only dream where i'm looking at myself; i'm around the same age/possibly a few years older, the only notable difference is that my hair is to my waist. the cave is more lit up; more 'embers' circling in the air. the ceiling seems lower, and the illuminations on the wall are more natural. no colors or sounds this time around, but simple images/symbols. the details are sketchy. there's a lot of peacock feathers scattered around us. we discuss whatever is brought to our attention by the 'embers'. it's as though were piecing together a story, but we aren't allowed to see all the images of it at once. it's draining to do so, and there's no exit to the cave. i eventually fall asleep in his lap.

Sunday, Eddie and I had a talk and we watched a beautiful documentary of Edgar Cayce. It started the search into Akashic Records; and made me want to jot these bits down.

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